The Sober Grit

Quitting drinking can be one of the scariest decisions that one could ever make. You will be flooded with thoughts of shame, guilt of self, and resentment towards others who drink all while literally grieving your best friend. After all, alcohol has been there through everything in your life and is always willing to come back to you, if you allow it to. Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to quitting drinking alcohol, as each person’s situation is unique. Here is a 3-step way to rid alcohol from your life and live a sober and present life that is deserved.

1) Getting tired of your own shit, and for good!

The saying is so true, “it is fun until it isn’t fun anymore”, and drinking is no exception. Are you tired of filling in the blanks from the night before? Mending relationships the next day, week, or some never at all? The hangovers and growing health concerns? If you answered yes to any or all of them, then chances are you are tired of your own shit! Many times, people initially quit drinking out of the love for their family and loved ones because of the above reasons (and plenty more). However, sobriety will only take you so far if the reason is not for YOU! You have to be willing to admit that enough is enough.

And that takes us to willingness….

      2) Willingness-  

Part of willingness is admitting that there is a problem and that it needs to change. For many this is the hardest part. I remember to this day the first time that I said out loud, “I am an alcoholic”. Those words pierced my soul with shame, regret, and sheer pain because I had to accept the woman that I had become. As it hurt, that pain was just what I needed to accept that I did in fact have a problem that was only growing, as I was watering everyday with vodka. Through the pain I had to be kind to myself and give myself grace and alot of it. This was not easy but necessary to move forward. 

What are you willing to do for your sobriety? Are you willing to cut people out of your life that have been there for so many years? What about that grocery store that is attached to your favorite liquor store, will you go somewhere else? Are you willing to find support with more like minded people just like you, or are you just going to stay isolated and figure it out as you go? The answer to these has to be “YES”. Yes, I am willing to do whatever it takes to stop drinking, no matter what! 

I have had enough and I am willing to do whatever it takes, now what?

        3) Purpose-  

For me, this is the most essential one. If one has no purpose, then what is the point? There is none. Simply, there is no reason to  fight for something if there is no reason or purpose to keep fighting. This is where you find your purpose, and the beauty about your purpose is it can change as you change. The key is to not lose your purpose, but to repurpose it if life starts getting funny. Life changes and with that comes new blessings and/or challenges and finding what your role in all of it is essential. Is it to be the best mother or father, son or daughter, to help others? Whatever your purpose is, finding it can be very difficult as let’s be honest, we are not full of good warm feelings when we get to this point in our sobriety. We feel like horrible people who don’t deserve any good. This is where giving yourself grace comes back. I have repurposed myself a few times in just the last year and I can tell you from experience that it was those times that I felt that I had no purpose that my sobriety, and life, were at its lowest.

Please remember that none of this is a quick fix or a one-size fits all roadmap to recovery. There will be forks in the road, bumpy rides, even a few collisions on the way, but as long as you are always going forward you can use the rearview mirror as lessons. Best of luck to you all and thank you for reading. ~Carpe Diem 

Kinds Regards, 

Donnette “The Sober Donut”